Back to School: Eswatini, a pandemic, teenage drama, and a python

Hi! This blog has been a bit neglected. I actually drafted a blog post on New Years Day; for some reason, it didn't feel right. Basically, 2020 was a crazy year and while I am still grieving what was lost, I have a renewed sense of gratitude for what I have and am focusing on appreciating the present moment. 

I was supposed to return to school in person in January (after waiting for about 9 months for the school to open), but alas, the universe had different plans. Eswatini locked down a week before I was supposed to fly so after some frantic pros and cons lists, I decided to just take a leap of faith, fly to South Africa, and then stay with my friend and her family for the indefinite future. I stayed with them on their farm for 6 weeks as we waited for the school to reopen. And while the uncertainty was taxing, I loved going for runs on the farm, learning how to identify plants, tanning (with sunscreen, don't worry), and doing online classes alongside another real live person. 

Our school did eventually announce that it was reopening. I was very excited and also quite scared; what would boarding school without hugs look like? How would I stay sane without sports? Would I remember people's names? Could I actually sit through an entire in-person class? Thankfully, I am quite used to the fear-and-excitement-because-of-uncertainty emotional combo. 

And it was still incredible. I was reunited with a group of people that are curious about the world, aren't afraid to connect deeply with others, and have had life experiences completely different from mine. I climbed up the mountain on campus grounds four times a week and the view never got old. I was reminded of how much I can learn in one hour when everyone is engaged, I'm not distracted by my phone, and I can ask the questions that pop into my head without "dropping them into the chat." I took risks and didn't say to myself "Oh, I have time, I'll do [insert new experience] at some point." 

Somehow, I ended up in the middle of teenage drama, which has never happened before. I have always been comfortably on the outside, listening to the tea, giving advice I had no qualifications to give. But not this term. And I learned a lot! I learned that my first instinct is to protect people, that I have trouble figuring out what I want, and that journaling really helps me stop overthinking and get clarity. I learned that reaching out for help is important and that my parents are actually kinda wise. All this social stuff made up a huge part of my last three months so I thought I should include it here. Please text me if you want details ;) 

By the end of the term though, I was quite burnt out. The drama, plus not being able to leave campus, plus schoolwork had just gotten too much. So I decided to plan a month of travel with a bunch of teenagers! Not the most relaxing activity. However, once our group arrived to Cape Town, it all felt worth it. Watching the sunset on the beach, getting Nutella brownies at an outdoor market, clubbing (in a socially-distanced way) on Long Street, thrift-shopping, and making a communal feast with dishes from all over the world with my friends while dancing to throwback songs are memories I will cherish for a very long time. However, it is so important to acknowledge that our ability to have the experience we did in Cape Town was totally dependent on our economic privilege. There are people who live in Cape Town that because of horrendous economic inequality stemming from Apartheid, have never, and will likely never be able to visit some of the places we did. Walking through wine gardens full of only white people, shopping for Belgian chocolate yogurt minutes after passing a township full of thousands of people living in shacks doesn’t feel morally right. Drinking oat milk lattes on one of the most famous beaches in the world and then seeing three little kids come out from under cardboard leaned against rocks isn’t right. Cape Town is the most beautiful city I have ever seen but you can’t just turn a blind eye to the ugly history that impacts everyone. I can "live the dream" in Cape Town but so many people can’t, through no fault of their own, and that needs to change.

We then took a bus to my friend's beach house and stayed there for a week. That transitional sentence was incredibly jarring because a logical next paragraph would discuss ways to change the inequality, not describe our exit to more privilege. Buying bread for the kids under the cardboard doesn't begin to cut it, but I have struggled to find concrete actions I can take as a student studying abroad. What I do know though, is it is my responsibility to make the most out of my gifts and privilege so I am better able to give back and reduce the inequalities in our world. 

Anyway, back to the jarring juxtaposition of our beach house retreat. I was living and cooking and cleaning with 10 other teenagers and they really started to feel like family. However, all the practice yelling at Ellis to do the dishes paid off, because we had several dishes-adverse group members. I realized that I love the ocean and that it is my destiny to be a surfer girl at some point in my life. 

The most adventurous part of the break had yet to come! I had decided I wanted to do some backpacking at some point because cities are great and all but I'm a Montana girl and I missed nature. Somehow I ended up organizing a 5-day backpacking trip for 7 newbies (only 2 other people had ever camped overnight) through an Eswatini wilderness area. We scoffed at packing a machete but it would have come in handy. I'm glad we were a very sing-y group because when we were lost in a marsh, we needed some Bruno Mars to keep the snakes at bay. And even Bruno Mars couldn't completely protect us (we saw a mamba and a python). But we had enough food, no one got hurt cliff-jumping, we organized an emergency pickup from some sugarcane farm backroads, we only rock-climbed twice (once on purpose, the other time out of accidental necessity) and it was the most beautiful place I had ever been. I will never forget skinny dipping under the stars in a rock pool in a canyon in Eswatini. 

And now I am very behind on my Extended Essay but am also trying to enjoy my last couple of days off-campus. I feel the most comfortable in myself that I have ever felt. I am looking forward to continuing to make the most of this wonderful opportunity I have been given. Six more months! 

Thanks for reading :) 

PS: You may have noticed the new blog name (it might change again). Basically, gSwatini no longer felt right because 1) most people don't pronounce the name in the way where the pun works and 2) the majority of this blog is actually not about my time in Eswatini, and 3) I don't really want to make a pun out of a name that was created to replace a colonial one. Another thing I have learned; changing your opinion or stance on something when you learn new things isn't a sign of flakiness, instead, I think it is more of a reflection of growth and humility. Not that I'm trying to flex about my growth and humility, haha but hopefully you understand.   

PPS: My friends from Missoula are about to graduate and I have been thinking about them a lot. It is hard to be missing out on such a momentous time for some of the people I care about most in the world but I am also just so happy for them and excited for their next adventures to begin. Hopefully, I get to see them in August! 

PPPS: Here are some quality international dance songs in case you are interested: Drogba by Afro B and Calma - Remix by Pedro Capo. 

Now for the pictures!!